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I brought home my new 99 civic ex. I went crusing that night but it just didn't seem fast enough!?!?!?
I checked to make sure the engine was still there ???
Everything inside seemed to be alright ?!?!?!?
I checked to make sure the tires were tires were inflated correctly ?!?!?!?
So, i talked to my boyzzz who knew alot about cars. I asked them, "why is my Honda slow?"
They said, you need new bumpers, "Those stock bumpers aint fast enough!"
Out with the slow bumpers and in with the new, my boyz said i did not have to paint the bumpers yet, that i could just drive around with them only primered. But my body shop, BACK YARD PAINTS, said that i should do it now, i did all thanks to momy and dady!, thanks guys!
The car seemd  a little faster after the bumper swap, but it was still not fast enough. My boyz said that i should cut my springs.
They also said that i should get rid of my quiet exaust, and get a fart can. So i did!!!!
My boyz said that i should put in a cold air intake, and a upper strut bar, (whatever the hell that does), so i did!!!!
Then they said, SIDE SKIRTS MAN, side skirts!!!! ohh and wheels too!!! I said taht i can't afford all four wheels, so my boyz said
get two for the rear. When you get more bling, get the other two! so i did!!!!
I really wanted all four rims, so my boyz hooked me up with a little job. I guess they were into cooking or something cause they had me sell these little bags of oregano. It must of been real good, because these people could not get enough of it. They asked my if i had any thing else, and i had remembered that my boyz sliped my a few bags of salt, (they said its for emergencies). But now i have all four rims, and thats all that counts!!!
After all that, my Honda did not seem fast enough!!
    Cold air intake, stress bar thingy...
Fart can exaust...
So my boyz said, "yo, you needs some race seats that dont match your interior." So i got these red hot sparcos. That should
make the car fast!!!!
Ohh yea, they look HOT...
I had to say, my car was faster, but not fast eough, and i was still not getting any honeys. I asked, "is there anything more that i can do guys, anything as all ?"
                                        So they all thought long and hard.....
Then Mario came up with it........S T I C K E R S.....!...!...!...!...!...!...!..!.
YEAH!! we put stickers all over. Half on the hood, half on the fender, on the windshield, rear wing thingy, some on the side
of the car. This thing is going to be
FAST...
Ohhh yeaaa... Thanks to my boyz, my Honda is FAST now. I am winning races, and getting the honeys!!
Hope you guys thougt that was funny, i got it off the web somewhere. The only site on it was www.UBRF.org I changed it a little, hope you guys out there don't mind.    
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